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Clearing Mental Clutter — Tips For Giving Your Mind a Fall Cleaning

September 20, 2011 By Lena 1 Comment

With the change of seasons almost upon us, it’s time to start gearing up for the fall and winter seasons. Many people would say gearing down, with the cooler temperatures and shorter days but I’ve always found that fall is a great time for gearing up and getting things done. It’s not so joyful to be outside (unless you’re like me and love the smell of falling leaves), so it’s a great time to get your mental house in order before the hectic pace of the holiday season and the new year arrive.

So just how does one go about getting rid of the mental clutter that has built up through the course of the year?

1. Re-assess your goals and dreams

Remember that list of goals and dreams you wrote out way back in January? Have you looked at it since then?

Now would be a good time to get it out and re-assess where you are in terms of what you expected to acheive this year. Go through your list and update it or make changes if your life has moved in a different direction than what you had envisioned at the beginning of the year.

2. Deal with anything that’s making you angry

Anger takes up a lot of room in your mind, and the longer you hold on to it the more room it takes up. It’s like that “monster dough” that my mother used to keep in the fridge. The more you keep it in the dark, the more it just grows and festers and stresses you out.

It is much better to find a way to deal with whatever is making you angry and then let it go. You don’t need angry thoughts cluttering up your mind when you’re making room for new and better and more positive thoughts.

3. Practice forgiving and letting go

Negative thoughts can also go the way of angry thoughts — right on out of your mind. Holding on to negative thoughts is like holding on to all the clutter in your closet. You don’t really want it, but you don’t want to let it go either.

The only person you are hurting is yourself when you hang on to old hurts. Forgiving someone and letting go is more of a gift to yourself than it is to the person who wronged you initially.

4. Get outside and soak up some fresh air

It’s amazing what a little fresh air can to clear the clutter in your mind. Not only will you find it easier to let things go when you’re sitting on a beach watching the waves, or wandering down a quiet path, you’ll also be more open to new thoughts and ideas.

5. Have a little fun

No one ever said life had to be serious 100 percent of the time. Leave room for fun in your thoughts and your life, and you may find thoughts and dreams you’d forgotten about, just like those treasures that get stuffed to the back of the closet.

6. Organize your thoughts

Find ways to organize your thinking so that you avoid things like information overload and overwhelm. It’s so easy to keep piling more and more information in, until we’re so crammed full of thoughts, feelings, and memories that we just can’t think anymore.

Don’t be afraid to compartmentalize, or let a few thoughts go so that you keep the important ones in the forefront. Knowing what is important to you makes it much easier to focus and only allow the information in that relates to your most important goals and dreams.

7. Leave some room for new ideas

Above all, make sure you leave some room for new ideas and opportunities. You never know when opportunity might come knocking at your door, and you’ll want to have a a clear mind so that you recognize your chances when they arise.

Learning to keep the clutter out of your mind allows for thought processes that are much clearer and more creative. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or mentally cluttered, take time out to relax, do a little meditation, and clear your mind.

Filed Under: Mindset Tagged With: , , ,

Thoughts On Choosing To Let Go

August 25, 2011 By Lena 2 Comments

river viewIf I had a dime for every time someone told me to just let it go after my divorce, I’d be a millionaire. It’s been ten years and I’m not sure I’ve let everything go yet. I’m working on it, but learning to let go has been, and continues to to be, a hard lesson for me to grasp.

Choosing to let go of past hurts and resentments is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself. Hanging on to the crap really drags a person down, and can lead to all sorts of disease and depression. The other problem with hanging on to the nasty pieces of your past, harboring feelings of anger, resentment, or guilt is that all this negative stuff takes up so much room in your mind that it’s pretty much impossible to be present in the present. It clouds your judgment and makes it very difficult to see the present moment for the gift that it is. It also makes it very hard to be happy because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop based on your previous experiences.

So what’s a girl (or guy) to do when it comes to giving the boot to all this stuff?

I’m no expert because, like I mentioned, I’m still working through a lot of my own crap, but here are a few of the things that I’ve noticed about releasing the past and setting it free.

Writing Will Set You Free

This is my favorite way to work through anything, because it’s true — writing really will set you free. There’s something about the link between the brain and the hand with the pen that makes letting everything out easier. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I really get on a roll, my writing gets really messy — as if my hand can’t move fast enough to catch everything the brain is spewing.

You can use a journal for doing the writing, but I find that using a loose page works better. In my mind, a journal is for recording the stuff you want to keep and remember. Since the whole object of letting go is getting rid of the stuff you don’t want to keep, it makes it easier to let go of it if it’s not permanently etched in your book of memories. (There’s also that little historian’s voice in the back of my head that comes from too many hours in dusty old archives reading other people’s journals that says someday someone is going to find this, and they’ll think you were crazy when they read this.)

I use either cheap newsprint notepads or scrap paper to spew on. And after I’ve gotten it all out of my system, I burn it. Some people say to rip the paper to shreds and then throw it in the river to be carried away, but that’s not necessarily environmentally friendly. Either way, the physical release works as the perfect punctuation mark to the mental and emotional release.

Talking About It Helps Too

At least that’s what I’ve been told. And to be fair I’ve known people who have received tremendous help and relief from talking about the things that they need to let go of. But, to be totally up front with you, talking about what’s bugging me is something I am not very good at.

Using a coach or a counselor can offer a safe haven because they are a totally unbiased party. It often works out that they will see the situation from a perspective that you wouldn’t have considered and that can make it easier to release.

Whether you choose to talk to a friend or a professional, it does help to verbalize what you’re holding on to and how you feel about it. The thought is that unless you talk about your past, you never really let it go.

So if you really want to release the past…

Practicing Forgiveness Trumps All

Until you forgive, you can’t really let go. But it’s hard, at least for me. I can hold a grudge with the best, even though I know it’s not in my best interests.

It helps to remember that practicing forgiveness doesn’t mean that you are condoning what the other person did, or that you are even okay with it. Obviously you’re not okay or you would have already let it go and moved on.

Practicing forgiveness means that you have chosen to move on, have let go of the need for retribution, and have found a sense of closure for yourself. It’s the “for yourself” that is the key. it has nothing to do with the other person at all.

Forgiveness is all about you. It’s the ultimate expression of release because when you forgive someone you don’t just release all the pain and anger over what happened, you also loosen the control that the past has over you. And that makes it much easier for you to get on with your life, live in the present moment and be happy.

Filed Under: Ezine Issues, Mindset Tagged With: , ,

Lessons on Living For the Moment, Part 2

April 7, 2010 By Lena 1 Comment

If you missed part one, you can read it here: Lessons on Living For the Moment, Part 1

Lesson Three: Be Mindful of Your Choices

A lot of the fun of living in the moment comes from being able to make the choice of what to do each minute of the day. There is responsibility too, in making sure that you accept that the choice you make for this moment will have an impact on all the moments that follow it.

Being mindful of what you are doing and why you choose to spend time doing it can be a hard lesson to learn. It can be a frustrating one too if you have trouble staying focused. Take this article, for instance…

I knew that when I chose to sit down and write this article, that I would also be committing to spending the next 45 or 50 minutes with pen and paper, engaged in the task of creating something. So the choice to write an article in one moment has a definite impact on the next several minutes. It means my butt can’t leave the chair until it’s done, that my mind has to stay focused on one topice until it’s done, and any other thoughts that don’t relate to the current topic have to be set aside for the time it takes to get everything I want to say down on paper.

It also means that I have to be mindful of each and every word that goes in to the creation of this article, because it’s very easy for me to just start spewing out whatever comes to mind. And as you’ve no doubt noticed, I can ramble with the best of ‘em!

If I’m not paying attention to where my thoughts are heading, it’s easy to get dragged so far off topic that the only way back is to just stop and start over.

It’s also possible to hit a roadblock where the thoughts just stop. If you’re not mindful of the moment when that happens, you can find yourself crashing head first into the barrier. The moment has passed, and you’ve missed the train of thought you were supposed to be on.

Lesson Four: Let Go of the Past

Which brings me to the fourth lesson I’ve learned about living for the moment. Life is too darned short to live in the past.

And I’ll be perfectly honest with you here — this is the one lesson I still struggle with on a daily basis. I’m not good at letting go, and I still spend way more time than I should thinking about the past. Even though I know I can’t change it (and if I’m really honest I probably wouldn’t if I could since it’s brought me to where I am today), it’s still there rumbling around in my mind doing its level best to interrupt my present.

Learning to accept the past for what it is, is one of the biggest obstacles I’ve faced in my quest to live each day in the moment. I’ve found that sometimes the best way to handle it is to spend a few minutes wallowing in the memories, and then just say “thank you” and send them on their way.

Sometimes, too, thoughts of the past can serve as a good reminder of why it’s so important to stay focused on the present. Like those rare moments that I catch myself thinking “Gee, I wish I had a cigarette right now,” and then I remember all those cigarettes of my past and just how good they were for me. That’s when the past shoves me firmly back into the present, and in a hurry too. I have no desire to repeat those hospital visits, thank you very much.

These days I try to live for the moment and be conscious of my thoughts as often as possible. I’m still working on it, and some days are definitely better than others. One thing I’ve noticed is that the more I pay attention to each moment, the less stressed I am about what tomorrow may bring. Who knows… I might not make it to tomorrow, and that makes me determined to enjoy today’s moments to their fullest.

Thanks for spending a few of your moments reading this. Please leave a comment and let me know if you liked it, or just say hello so I know you were here.

Thanks for being here!

Filed Under: Change Tagged With: , ,

Lessons on Living For the Moment

April 7, 2010 By Lena 1 Comment

One of the lessons I have learned from being a diabetic and a heart attack survivor is the importance of living for the moment. It’s so easy to become distracted by all the “stuff” of daily life that the dreams and pleasures of each moment get forgotten, or worse, set aside. We no longer live for the present moment because our thoughts get caught up in the next big problem or in rehashing something that happened years ago that we haven’t let go of. Until something comes along, like a heart attack, to remind us that this moment is really all we have, it could be our last, and if we don’t pay attention to it, it will be wasted instead of enjoyed.

As far as heart attacks go, mine was a pretty mild one. But it was enough of a wake-up call to make me want to change. Add diabetes into the mix and I got downright mad at the situation. Because even though I wanted, and still want, to be healthy and make changes and live each moment just for itself, I know I’ve not been very successful at it up to this point.

Why?

Mostly because I was afraid. For the first two years I sat in my house, afraid to do anything in case it triggered another heart attack.

Lesson One: Letting Go of the Future

The first lesson I had to learn was to let go of the future. By that I mean I had to quit worrying about what might happen before it happens. Instead of saying “I’d like to go for a walk, but what happens if I get chest pain out there and can’t make it back home,” I had to retrain myself to say “I will go for a walk today, and now is the perfect time.”

I found that if I was worried about the chest pain, I would sit back down on the couch and not move for the rest of the day. The moment to take action was wasted because I worried about what might happen before it even had a chance to happen.

But, if I accepted that I felt good in that one moment when I decided to go walking, put my shoes on and headed out the door, then I was usually fine. Sure there were, and still are, times that I have to stop and catch my breath, but now I see those moments for the gifts they are as well — a chance to really notice my surroundings.

Lesson Two: Pay Attention to Nature

Do you know what a gift it is to be able to take pleasure in the smell of wild flowers, freshly cut grass, or the river? The sight of ducks playing in the water, or a squirrel jumping from branch to branch? Or the feel of a spring breeze gently caressing your skin? There are days when I could happily spend the whole day just sitting on a rock letting the smells, sights, and feelings of being outside wash over me. My favorite moments are the ones where I am sitting on that rock, and I can take a deep breath and know that for just this one moment in time everything is absolutely perfect in my world. There is no future to worry about, no past to agonize over how I could have done things differently. There is only now, and in this moment everything is exactly as it should be.

Being in nature is a wonderful way to live for the moment. When you take the time to reconnect with nature, whether it’s to take a walk, ride a bike, or just sit on a rock, you realize that all of nature lives for the moment. We humans have got so messed up stressing over the things we can’t control. The best stress-reliever I know is to get outside and really be a part of nature, because at that point you can’t help but be in the moment.

Going back to my example of the walk, I found that no matter how crappy I was feeling at the time, the moment I opened the door and stepped on to the sidewalk, I started feeling better. Even though for the time being I have to trudge through the urban landscape of downtown to get to the green stuff, as long as I could breathe in reasonably clean air and feel the sun on my face, even those moments where I have to deal with people in my space become tolerable. Seeing them rushing about just makes me more grateful that I can choose my moments and what I do with them.

To be continued…

Filed Under: Change Tagged With: , ,

When Creativity is like Parenting

January 19, 2010 By Lena Leave a Comment

1901sundaysunsetI was looking through a storage container of partially finished projects and products this afternoon, and I came to the conclusion that I have a serious problem.

I have a hard time letting go, especially of the things I’ve created.

I want to share them… really I do. But I don’t want to let go of them to the point that’s required for them to be of actual use to anyone else. And it’s not about control. It’s all about rejection.

I remember what it was like to be the kid no one liked. The one who got made fun of, was always left off the invitation lists, and was the last one picked for baseball every day. And it sucked. I was two years younger than everyone else thanks to the wonderful accelerated learning programs of the 1960s, and so in retrospect I can understand why I never really fit in socially but I wouldn’t wish that kind of rejection on my worst enemy. And I certainly wouldn’t wish it on any child of my own.

That’s when it dawned on me that I see creations in the same way as I see children. We can birth them, and nurture them until they’re fully grown. But then we have to set them free to make their own way in the world. They’ll still always be yours and a part of you, but they’ll lead their own lives and as creators we have to be able to accept that.

But it’s hard. As parents, we want our kids to be liked and accepted even though we know that won’t always be the case. As product creators, I think it’s much the same. We know that not everyone is going to like our creations, and we know that we don’t have the answers for every single person out there. Still, it’s hard not to be protective of your “babies” when they don’t garner the response you were expecting.

So where am I going with all this? Honestly, I’m not really sure yet. But I read this quote that Warren Whitlock posted on twitter earlier today:

“Do one thing every day that scares you” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

And my first thought was that putting a finished product up for sale is one thing that scares the crap out of me! I know that if I’m going to actually have the year I have planned for myself, then letting go of those finished creations and sharing them with the world is a big part of that. Now I just have to figure out how to do that.

Any suggestions? Leave a comment and share your thoughts. I’d love to hear them.

Have an incredible day!
Thanks for being here,
lena

PS… January’s issue of The Acorn Stash Newsletter is ready for download.

Filed Under: Creativity Tagged With: , , , , , ,