Growing Your Self-Confidence One Step at a Time

building self-confidence“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is startled, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.” ~ Robert Collier

What does self-confidence mean to you? Is it the difference between just merely existing day-to-day or living the life you love? Does having low self-confidence mean that you spend more time worrying about what others thing of you, instead of how to get done what you need to do in order to have that dream life you want?

You do know that self-confidence can be learned right? No one is born with a “self-confidence gene” that I know of. (I’m sure some scientist will correct me if I’m wrong here.) What we are born with is a sense that everything is right in our world, and unfortunately it is that sense that gets eroded over time as we learn that things a) don’t always go our way, and b) others will work to undermine us in order to shore up their own confidence.

So if your confidence has taken a beating lately, what are you doing to grow it back?

Make your confidence a priority.

As someone who struggled with low self-confidence for most of my life, I can tell you that this is the most important thing you can do for yourself. No one else can do it for you, and you may find that others will feel threatened by your new self. But don’t let them stop you. You deserve to have that sense of self-worth and self-confidence, and no one else has the right to take that from you.

Here are a few ideas to get you started on the path to growing your self-confidence again:

Do at least one thing per day to build your confidence.

Find ways to incorporate building your confidence into everything you do — phone calls, connections on social media, going a little beyond the boundaries of the familiar can all help. This also helps you be more engaged not only with the people around you, but most importantly, with yourself!

Talk to yourself about your confidence.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a confident woman!” You are worth every bit of confidence and success you desire to have. But… until you believe this yourself, you will have trouble getting it and keeping it.

See yourself as the confident woman you are.

Use visualization techniques to see yourself confident and handling situations that would normally leave you feeling nervous and scared. Focus on what it will feel like to be that confident person you know you can be.

Keep a confidence journal.

Write down at least one thing you did every day that made you feel more confident. Keep track of your successes to remind yourself that you are already confident and that every time you act with confidence you are growing that feeling even more.

Get involved in social media.

Okay … I can hear you thinking “she’s lost her mind” but hear me out for a minute. Social media sites can be a great starting point for growing your self-confidence because you can take small steps without having any face-to-face contact. So for the extremely shy and/or introverted person, using a site like Facebook can be a real confidence booster as you learn or re-learn how to interact with people.

I’ll tell you my story about social media and confidence another day. For now, if you want to connect with me, you can do so here: Lena’s Facebook Page

This may seem like a lot to think about, so I’ll leave you with one final tip.

Don’t be afraid to take a step back when you need to.

Sometimes stepping beyond the borders of the familiar can be overwhelming, so when you need alone time don’t hesitate to take it.

Being self-confident isn’t going to make you an extrovert if you’re not already one, and it doesn’t mean you have to immerse yourself in new situations every minute of the day. In fact, you need to take time out to care for yourself – because I’m betting you don’t do enough of that now — and to reflect on what you’ve already accomplished!

So… are you ready to take that first step?

3 Tips For Making Lifestyle Changes With Confidence

lifestyle changes | self-confidence It’s no secret that we humans don’t like change. If you did a survey, you’d most likely find that at least 90 out of 100 people would tell you that they do not enjoy change.

Change is not easy because humans are creatures of habit. After all, they don’t call it a “comfort zone” for nothing. You want to continue living in a certain routine once you have conditioned your body and mind to function in that way. This makes you feel comfortable with your surroundings and decisions. Even when it’s not really comfortable any more, it’s still easier to stick with the familiar than it is to initiate a lifestyle change.

But change is necessary in order for us to grow. So even if you don’t like change, you need to find ways to make healthy lifestyle changes easier. There are also tools you can use to welcome change into your life, even when you’re entering new uncharted territory.

Here are 3 ways to make lifestyle changes easier for you:

1. Make a list of pros and cons.

If you know you need to make changes in your life and you aren’t looking forward to doing so, you can do a simple exercise that will make the change easier to handle.

Take a sheet of paper, and on one side write “Pros,” and on the other write, “Cons.” On the corresponding side you will write the pros and the cons of the change so you can see what the benefits and drawbacks might be.

As you do this exercise, you may realize that the very thing holding you back is the fear of change itself.

Seeing the pros and cons will help you realize how it will benefit you to make the change. This allows you to warm up to the thought that change actually might actually be a good idea!

2. Make your changes gradually.

Another way to make lifestyle changes easier is to work up to them. It’s a shock to the system when you try to make wholesale changes overnight. Take small steps toward making the changes permanent.

For instance, if the healthy lifestyle changes that you need to make center around quitting smoking you may not want to quit cold turkey; instead you can work up to it. I did this, and even though it took awhile I finally quit and am happy to say I’ve been smoke free for almost seven years now.

3. Use Affirmations.

Another way to help make lifestyle changes easier is to use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements that encapsulate the way you would ideally think or behave.

You can either create your own affirmations or look for statements that others have created. The key is that you find an affirmation that speaks to you.

Words are powerful and, when you repeat the same words over time, they continue to resonate through your mind. When the words are positive you’ll find that you can tap into the positive thought anytime or anywhere.

If you’re worried about making a healthy lifestyle change, you don’t have to be. Instead, you can remind yourself why you want to change by saying something like, “Change is healthy. I am excited to experience new opportunities.”

When you repeat an affirmation often enough, it becomes your response to the negative energy and anxiety you feel. You become more confident in dealing with change when you know you can replace the negative thoughts with positive ones as soon as they occur.

Some lifestyle changes are harder than others to become accustomed to even when we desire to make the changes. Many times just one of these tips will help you to implement the change, while other times you may need to use a variety of methods to feel at ease about the change.

Use the “pro and con” method to see the benefits. Then bring the change in gradually while you accept it through your affirmations. These techniques will help you feel confident so you can enjoy the benefits of your new lifestyle.

For more affirmations feel free to connect with me on either Facebook or Twitter. I post new tips and affirmations every day for building your confidence and living your best life.

Six Tips for Creating a Joyful Day

When you look at Charlie Brown and Snoopy doing their happy dance, it makes it hard to think about not living in joy. Granted, there are always unexpected things happening each and every day; but really… wouldn’t life be boring if everything went according to plan, every single day?

Think of the things that bring you joy that are the result of something unexpected:

  • a butterfly lands on your nose
  • your baby says “Mama” for the first time
  • your dog jumps up to give you a kiss just when you need it most
  • you unexpectedly run into an old friend on the street

If you hadn’t planned for those joyful happenings, and everything went according to plan, think of all the good things in life you would have missed out on!

Now, before you tell me I’m all sugar plum fairies and pie in the sky this morning, I know that there are things to be stressed about. Lost jobs, bills to pay, groceries to buy, kids to outfit for summer camp, sports and whatever else their hearts desire… But we all know that happiness is a choice right? And you can let all the stress and worry of everyday living and let it suck the joy out of you, OR you can make a choice to create a joyful day for yourself in spite of all the negative stuff.

So what’s it gonna be? You gonna do the happy dance, with Charlie, Snoopy and me?

Here are six ways you can create a joyful day for yourself:

1. Start your day off right.

It’s important to have an empowering morning routine that gets your day started on the right foot. Picture your day going smoothly and being filled with joy. Use an affirmation such as “Today is a joyful day for me!” to set the mood before your feet even hit the floor.

2. Stick up for yourself.

When you hit one of those unexpectedly negative events that have the potential to ruin your day, put your strengths to work for you. Only you get to decide what will ruin your day, and if this is something that doesn’t deserve to have power over you, stick up for yourself and don’t give in to it!

Too often we find ourselves at the mercy of other people’s actions defining our days and how we feel, and it’s time to stop. No one can take your joy away without your consent, so don’t let them.

No one can steal my joy - Affirmation

3. Look for something good to focus on.

So you’ve just won your first battle of the day with the “negative nellies”. Now shake off the residue and look for something positive to come at you. This is a good time to remind yourself that the day’s not over yet. You could still get kissed by a butterfly, run into an old friend, hit all the green lights on the way home, or any number of other things all designed to make you smile.

Creating joy in your day comes as much from how you think about things just as much as what those things actually are. So think good thoughts, and good things are bound to show up throughout the rest of the day.

4. Know when to let go.

Sometimes you can create joy in your day by just knowing when to let something go. It could be that just one little glitch is causing all your frustration, and I can tell you from experience when that happens, there is much joy in walking away even for five minutes.

Stay focused on the big picture, and learn not to “sweat the small stuff.” Everything comes back into focus eventually, and you’ll rob yourself of the joy in this day if you let it get you down and keep you there.

5. Find your silver lining.

Every cloud has a silver lining, or so the old saying goes. (And just as an aside, here’s a photo of my Grandfather’s calendar from October 1910 that says so!) So there has to be something positive in that thought right?

If you can find one positive lesson in the frustrating situation you just walked away from, you can create joy in your day from that. You’ve learned something new, and you can file that away for the next time something like this comes up.

6. Treat your life as an adventure.

When you are on the lookout for ways to create joy in your day, life becomes a grand adventure. There’s always something going on, and each challenge or obstacle to your joyful day is a new opportunity for you to build your confidence, empower yourself, and just be happy!

When you shift your mindset from “This can’t be good” to “This could be really good” amazing things happen. If you think of life as an adventure to navigate, then positivity and joy are the keys to opening up all the secret passageways. And you know that secret passageways are where all the good stuff happens in an adventure, right?

However you decide to go about creating joy in your day, always remember that happiness is your choice! You get to decide whether you will let frustration and negative energy get you down, or if you’ll shake it off and do a happy dance.

The power is yours! I hope you’ll come dance with me.

 
Credits: 
Many thanks to Sheryl @ Cultivating Your Feminine Spirit 
for the use of her Peanuts image. :)

Daily Affirmation – 7 June 2012

personal growth

Today’s Affirmation:
My life is a path of endless growth.

I’m a sucker for paths. I love the analogy of life as a pathway and whenever I go out walking I’m always taking pictures of paths and lanes and sidewalks to remind me that my life is an endless path of growth, and it’s my choice where to stop and rest and when to keep moving on.

How do you see your life? As a path or something else?

Feel free to leave a comment, or tweet, share, pin etc. if you feel so inclined.

Thanks for being here,
Lena

Daily Affirmation – 6 June 2012

Today’s Affirmation:
I AM grateful for all the good things that are happening in my life.

I am very grateful for everything that’s going on right now. For all the opportunities to meet new people, to grow, and to experience new things.

And yes, I meant to post this yesterday and forgot. :)

Thanks for being here,
Lena

Daily Affirmation – 4 June 2012

self-confidence affirmation

It’s Monday, and the start of a brand new week!

Why not start the day, and the week off on a positive note, and realize that you can do anything you put your mind to.

Today’s Affirmation:
“If I can say, I can do it and I can be it!”

I believe in you. Will you believe in yourself?

Have a great week,
Thanks for being here!

Lena