The good news is that moving outside your comfort zone doesn’t have to be a frustrating or scary experience. My Dad always used to tell me a few nerves are good for you when you’re doing something new, but I’m not so sure I agree. So, in the spirit of helping you take the next step with as little fear and anxiety as possible here are my four favorite – well, 3 favorite and one not so much – ways to figure out the next step in pushing out the boundary of your comfort zone.

1. Be grateful

I love gratitude! It’s the cure-all feeling that makes everything better, especially when I’m feeling nervous or worried about something.

Take today, for example. I am sitting here re-writing this (since I accidentally deleted it yesterday) while waiting for the safety check on my new SUV to be done. And to calm my nerves I think about all the things I’m already grateful for. Just as an example, right at this minute I am grateful…

For my friends who gave me the new vehicle when they knew I needed one;
For the sunshine;
For being able to sit and enjoy the fresh air at the bus stop this morning;
For being able to write this article for you;
For you being here to read it;
For my faith that the Universe will take care of me and make sure that my SUV passes all its inspections easily and cheaply.

And that’s just for starters!

When you stop and think about all the things you are already grateful for, you open yourself up to receive even more goodness in your life. Putting gratitude into the context of a move outside your comfort zone means that you should express your gratitude not only for the experiences you’ve had and the things you’ve done, but also for the new opportunities and experiences to come. And, just in case you can’t think of anything, here’s a great list of 48 things to be grateful for to get you started.

2. Get creative

My second favorite way to nudge myself into a new direction is to get creative. There’s something about the creative process that frees you up to really let your intuition work. And really, if you’re not sure what step to take next, you could do a lot worse than listen to your intuition.

For me, it’s usually writing in my journals or on my blogs that does the trick. Sometimes it’s playing the piano and really pounding out some Mozart or Beethoven that creates those Ah ha moments that show the next step so clearly I wonder how I didn’t see it before.

It doesn’t matter what your creative passion is, as long as you do something. Writing and music are mine, but for my Mom and my Grandmother both it was baking and knitting. Tapping into your creativity really allows you to let your subconscious free to focus on the bigger issues at hand. While you are consciously doing something you love, your subconscious mind is wandering in the background.

3. Read a book

Reading is another of my favorite ways to figure out what the next step should be. For as long as I can remember I’ve lost myself in books, and used them to figure out my life, what to learn, and what steps to take next.

Whether you enjoy fiction or non-fiction, and I read a lot of both, you can always learn something from what you are reading. I’ve always believed that each book we read has a message just for us and there’s a reason we choose the books we do when we do. For years, I wouldn’t buy a book unless it literally jumped off the shelf at me in the store.

4. Talk to people

Okay, so you probably guessed that this is my least favorite way to figure out my next step. As an introvert, talking to people really pushes me beyond my own comfort zone but I’m working on it.

Talking to others, especially people who are outside our immediate circle of close friends and family can really open you up to new experiences and opportunities. At the very least, it will definitely expose you to new ideas and ways of thinking that you might never have considered otherwise.

Taking the first step beyond your comfort zone doesn’t have to be hard, scary or frustrating. The great thing I find about using these easy ways to get started is that if you find yourself going in the wrong direction, it’s easy enough to step back and pick a different direction. The most important thing is that you keep moving toward the growth that comes from pushing your boundaries.

“Anything you to do to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone will ultimately enable you to take larger risks and grow.” ~ Leslie Evans

What’s your favorite way to start moving beyond your comfort zone? Share your thoughts in the comments…

The post 4 Easy Ways To Take The First Step Beyond Your Comfort Zone appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

I’ve been hearing a lot about comfort zones lately, which and that’s usually a sign that it’s something I need to pay attention to.

Actually, if I’m really honest with myself, I know I need to pay attention to taking that next step beyond my own comfort zone. Paying attention to the patterns in my life and in my work, I’ve noticed that there’s a definite block when it comes to moving to the next level. I work on something – be it a site, a project, or a book – until I hit the limit of where I’m comfortable, and then I move on to the next project. Stretching boundaries, moving into the unknown makes me distinctly uncomfortable, and so I just don’t do it. It’s easier to start another project than it is to accept the growing pains that come with taking the next step.

Sound familiar?

We all have a comfort zone of some sort where we are, well, comfortable with what we know we can do. Whether you call it working within your limits, being in your “happy place”, or something else,  it’s all about staying safe and letting the fear of the unknown build a barrier between you as you are now and your best self.

How’s that working for you?

Accepting the boundaries of your comfort zone and working within them, can have negative effects that you may not even realize. It’s when you know there’s something wrong, that life hasn’t turned out quite the way you wanted and you’ve settled for the safe instead of going for your dreams. One day you wake up, and you’re fifty years old, and you haven’t done nearly half of what you thought you’d do with your life.

The good news is that it’s not too late to take steps to move outside your comfort zone. If I can do it, I’m willing to bet you can do it too!

Here are a few tips that might help you to take that first step to move outside your comfort zone:

Know your limits

There are some who would say that you should know your limits and live within them. That might be fine when you’re talking budget, but when you’re talking about living your best life you need to know your limits so you can go beyond them.

Think of your comfort zone and those limits as a mental wall keeping you from what’s on the other side. When you know where the wall is, you can start to plan how to get past it. Whether you go over, around, or through makes no difference. Once you’ve gone past it, there’s no going back. You’ve pushed the boundaries of your comfort zone out to the next wall.

Some rules are made to be broken

This is especially true if those rules are self-imposed in order to keep you stuck in your comfort zone.

Breaking a few of those rules can be a great way to move beyond the barriers. Once you acknowledge that you are willing to be open to new opportunities and experiences, you will find that they are all around you. Even if you’re not far enough out of your comfort zone to actively seek out new opportunities, just the willingness to have an open mind will start to bring them to you.

Is it fear or is there a real risk?

Is there a real risk in what you want to do? Or is it just fear of the unknown that’s holding you back from making the next move?

It’s important to learn the difference between risk and fear so that you don’t let fear hold you back from moving beyond your comfort zone and living your best life.

Use challenges to move your barriers

Have you noticed how popular challenges are these days? There are blogging challenges, video challenges, fitness challenges and all other manner of challenges lasting 30, 60, and even 100 days or more. People love challenges because they are an easy way to start moving the boundaries of your comfort zone.

Challenges help push you because a) there is a time limit; and b) you’re not alone. You have the support of every other person doing the challenge and going through the same thing you are.

The truth is, without some kind of support network most of us will stay in our comfort zones.

I was very lucky when I started pushing my boundaries. I had the support of a great friend, and a whole community of women. Yes, I had to do the work to meet the challenges, and yes there were many times I didn’t make it the whole length of the challenge. But, what I learned even if I only lasted a few days was that I could do the tasks, and once I did it once, it wasn’t nearly as scary the next time.

Moving beyond your comfort zone is as much a mental exercise as a physical one. Not only are you trying new things and breaking down walls, but you are facing the fears that kept those walls in place for so long. There’s really no need to settle for second best when with a few baby steps in a different direction, you could be living your best life.

The post How’s That Comfort Zone Working For You? appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

The other thing that got me thinking about persistence was a video by Tiffany Dow. She talked in one of her video blog posts about giving it your all when it comes to internet marketing and being in business for yourself. It always amazes me that so many people want success, but are really not willing to put in the effort to achieve that success. I know I’ve been guilty of that on occasion, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Sometimes it’s just easier to mail it in, or say you’re tired and head for a nap. But that won’t get you the results you want.

For me, when I get like that, I think back to my University days. There were times when I went days without sleep because I knew the work had to be done. There were definite deadlines and penalties for not keeping up with the workload. When you’re self-employed, though, it’s easy to ignore self-imposed deadlines and not worry about it. If the only person you are accountable to yourself, then it doesn’t seem like a big deal to leave persistence by the wayside.

Unless you’re a beaver, and a lack of persistence means you don’t have any food to eat, or you don’t have a roof over your head. And when there’s no one there to help you or hold you accountable, you do it on your own because it’s a matter of survival.

I’ve changed my whole schedule around this week because I know that I have not been nearly persistent enough in keeping on top of things this year. And while I’m embarrassed to admit that I dropped the ball and will not meet many of my goals this year, I am not too proud to stand here and say it in the hopes that maybe someone else can take heart. It’s not too late to get going and make something out of what’s left of this year.

So in the spirit of starting over and creating success, here are my favorite tips for building persistence.

1. Get some clarity

The first step in building persistence is knowing what you want to accomplish. It’s really hard to stay focused on a goal if you don’t know what the goal is. So get clear on what you want to achieve and always “keep your eye on the prize”.

2. Use self-talk

It’s easy to say “Oh, I can’t be persistent. I’m so scatterbrained I would never be able to focus that long.” That’s an excuse, and one I’ve used myself as a way to justify moving from one project to another without ever finishing any of them.

You CAN be persistent. Anyone can be persistent if they put their mind to it. And if you really think you can’t, remember the beaver… think in terms of survival, and tell yourself that if you don’t persevere and achieve your goal, you won’t have a roof over your head or food on your table.

Harsh? Maybe so, but perseverance is in part about doing whatever it takes to get the job done. So if that’s what it takes for you to believe in yourself and get results, then do it! No one else has to know what self-talk you use to propel yourself forward.

3. Find a role model

While you are working on your own sense of self-belief, sometimes it helps to have a role model you can look at to keep you moving forward. Seeing someone else persevere and overcome obstacles to achieve their goals can be spur you on to do it as well. You might be surprised at how the spirit of competition can keeping you going. More than once I have used the “If she can do it, I can do it” method of motivation to keep me going when I’d rather take a nap.

4. Set your priorities

Setting priorities for your goals is important because it takes energy — mental, physical, and emotional — to achieve them. When you take the time to prioritize, you will gain more clarity about what you are trying to achieve and will know that you are willing to take the necessary measures and expend the amount of energy required to see the project through to the end.

5. Leave room for change

Don’t ever be afraid to make changes. There will be times when a goal you have set is no longer a priority in your life. When that happens, it’s okay to make changes and set new goals. Think of the saying, “Change is the only constant in life” and go confidently forward to set new goals and priorities for your life. Part of being persistent is in finding new paths to follow when the old one no longer works for you.

6. Never give up!

“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” ~ Napoleon Hill

I think this quote from Napoleon Hill really sums up what it’s all about.

The only reason you should ever abandon a goal is if it no longer fits your life. Otherwise, use these tips to build up your persistence, and know that whatever you believe you can achieve, you WILL achieve.

I believe in you! Will you believe in yourself?

The post Six Tips For Becoming More Persistent appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

So in an effort to cure myself of the brain freezes (or “Ruthieisms” as my son likes to call my moments of sheer idiocy) and the resulting blows to my already fragile confidence, I went looking for ideas on how to improve my own mental health. What I found is that there is a direct relationship between happiness, mental health, and self-confidence. And the more I think about it, the more I think you really can’t have an abundance of one without affecting the other.

© Igor Lovrinovic | Dreamstime.com

Seven Tips For Boosting Your Mental Health and Confidence

1. Live your life

There’s nothing quite like not living to sap your confidence and your mental strength. Decide what you want to do with your life and then go out and do it!

Dreaming about what you’d like your life to look like is a good start, but you’ll never get any further than that unless you woman (or man) up and take some action to achieve them.

2. Stay away from negative people

We’ve talked about negative people and how they can sap your confidence before, but it bears repeating because they can also affect your mental health just as much as your confidence. So just in case this is your first time here, stay away from negative people!

You won’t be able to change a negative person into a positive one, and you shouldn’t really try. It’s not up to us to change other people, only ourselves. So as much as you may love someone, if they are being negative toward you or your dreams, you really should try to limit your exposure to them.

Anyone or anything that causes you to doubt your dreams or your ability to achieve is a threat to both your mental health and your self-confidence. (Tweet This)

3. Pay attention to things like diet, exercise, and sleep

How we care for our bodies really does affect the health of our minds, so make sure you eat right, get regular exercise, and get enough sleep.

There is a growing body of research that shows the links between your physical shape and your mental health, so take care of your body and you’ll not only be taking care of your mind, you’ll be boosting your confidence too because you’ll look and feel so much better.

4. Create your own happiness.

This is one thing you have to do for yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness, just as I am responsible for my own happiness. (A fact I can conveniently forget when someone else messes with my plans!)

Seriously though, both your confidence and your mental health suffer when you’re not happy. Figure out what makes you happy, and then go do it.

5. Find a hobby that makes you happy.

You don’t know how much having a hobby or a passion that you love to spend time doing means to your confidence or your state of mind until it gets taken from you.

All my life I’ve played the piano. My dad was a piano teacher and I started when I was about three years old. It was my solace, my comfort, and my security blanket all through my teenage years. I knew I could get through anything with Bach, Beethoven and the boys. And then my abusive ex sold my piano. I was devastated, and didn’t have my one hobby that I’d kept up all my life to help me through the rough times. Which, in retrospect, was his whole purpose.

Anyways, to make a long story short, the first thing I did when I got back on my feet again was buy a new piano. Once I started playing again, I started to feel more like my old self — happier and more confident just because I was able to spend a part of each day doing something I love.

6. Whatever you do, do it to the best of your abilities.

Regardless of whether you’re working at a job, for yourself, or on a hobby that you love always put your heart and your best effort into it. There’s something to be said for being able to feel proud of your work.

If you put in a half-baked effort, you get half-baked feelings of fulfillment back from it because you know in your heart that you didn’t do your best. I don’t know about you, but the guilt from doing only half an effort eats at me so badly that I get no enjoyment at all if I’m only going through the motions. And we all know what guilt can do to our mental health.

It’s got to be all or nothing, done with generous amounts of heart and soul for me to really get enjoyment out of it. “Play big or get out of the game” is my new motto, and it works great for creating happiness and building self-confidence.

7. Develop a support system

Last, but certainly not least, surround yourself with a support network of people you love, and who love you back. We humans are social beings and we were not meant to go through life alone.

Just having a friend who will listen to you when you’re feeling down or overwhelmed can do more for your mental health than all the psychiatrists in the world put together. (Of course, if you think you’re suffering from depression or other mental illness please, please, please, seek professional help.)

Having a strong, emotionally supportive network is your safety net for when the going gets tough. (Tweet this)

I can tell you from my own experience of being isolated for years, that if I would have had a strong and supportive network of family and friends, things would have been a lot different. In fact, I can credit most of the healing I’ve done in the past year directly to a supportive network of women I’ve never met in person. They have done more for my health — mental and physical — and self-confidence that I will ever be able to thank them for.

Happiness, your state of mind and your confidence are all connected, and having all three can lead to living life to your fullest potential. Stay cool, exercise your mind, and use these tips when you need a little boost.

Thanks for being here!

The post Happiness, a Healthy Mind, and Your Self-Confidence appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

It’s better to pick your battles and find your courage — and your confidence — in the little things. As you’ve no doubt heard before, there’s nothing wrong with baby steps, because with each baby step you take, you find a little more of the confidence you’re looking for.

So what are some of these little things you can do to get your confidence back?

1. Change something about your looks.

When we get stuck in a rut, sometimes we can’t see ourselves in a different light, because we changed how we look in years. Keeping the same appearance is a big safety net, because it’s comfortable and familiar, even when you don’t necessarily like it.

Gather up your courage and go get your hair cut, or try a new shirt in a colour you’ve never worn before. I can tell you from my own experience that this works wonders for both your self-esteem and your self-confidence.

When I first decided I was ready to rebuild my life I did two things, both at the urging of my then-teenaged son. I cut my hair, and I bought some bright coloured clothes. For the five years before that I’d let my hair grow to halfway down my back, and it was a mess (to put it politely). The look didn’t suit me — long hair never had but I let myself be talked into growing it out — and I’d worn pretty much nothing but black t-shirts and sweatpants the whole time. So my son signed me up for golf lessons as a Mother’s Day gift, then dared me to go and get my hair cut and buy some new clothes… and I was not to come home with anything black! I couldn’t believe the difference. When they say that getting your hair cut is an easy way to lose ten pounds, they’re not kidding. I not only felt ten pounds lighter physically, but I also felt about a hundred pounds lighter emotionally and confident enough to take on the world.

You don’t have to do a complete makeover to transform the way you feel about yourself. Just one little thing like a haircut or a new shirt can make all the difference you need to start moving forward with your life again.

2. Practice using positive body language.

This is a little thing that seems like a pretty big thing when your confidence is on vacation. Body language is a great indicator of confidence, and if you’re lacking it you most likely tend to stay hunched over, eyes down, trying desperately to fade into the background.

Stop that!

Instead, try one little thing each time you go out and interact with people.

Start with learning how to look someone in the eye. This requires you to stand up straight and hold your head up, so automatically you’ll look a little more confident even if you don’t feel it.
It takes some courage to do this if you’re not used to it, but each time you do raise up your head and make eye contact you build more confidence for the next time out.

The other thing that goes along with unconfident body language is an unconfident voice. Have you ever noticed how people with low self-esteem tend to talk really quietly and mumble?

Once you’ve mastered the art of making eye contact, add speaking clearly and confidently to your repertoire as well. I won’t lie and tell you that you’ll be able to do it overnight. It will take some practice if you’re not used it, but I know that you can do it. Just as I know you will feel so much more confident each time you’re able to make small talk or carry on a conversation in a social setting.

3. Stand up for yourself.

This should probably be number one on the list because building up your self-confidence and self-esteem is ALL about being able to stand up for yourself. However, I put it down here because it’s something that you may have to work up to. It’s another little thing that’s really a big thing when you do it.

Here’s the thing… Most of the people I know (myself included) who battle with low self-confidence weren’t always like this. We were confident people, with jobs, lives, relationships, etc. that we knew how to deal with. And then we gave our power away to the wrong person. We let someone else tell us what we should wear, how we should look, even what we should think in some cases and in doing so we stopped standing up for ourselves!

So being willing to make a stand, and say “This is what I believe in, this is who I am” is a really big deal and something that takes a lot of courage. And it may take you awhile to get to that step, and you may have to start small. Even something as seemingly insignificant as saying “I don’t want fish for dinner” can be your first little step at standing up for yourself if you’ve not done it in awhile.

It takes courage to build your confidence and self-esteem up when you’ve lost them. Taking baby steps like changing how you look, using different body language and learning to stick up for yourself will help you grow more confident and stronger as a person. You will be well on your way, moving forward to reclaim the life you were meant to live!

Photo Credit: © Glanum | Dreamstime.com

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What does self-confidence mean to you? Is it the difference between just merely existing day-to-day or living the life you love? Does having low self-confidence mean that you spend more time worrying about what others thing of you, instead of how to get done what you need to do in order to have that dream life you want?

You do know that self-confidence can be learned right? No one is born with a “self-confidence gene” that I know of. (I’m sure some scientist will correct me if I’m wrong here.) What we are born with is a sense that everything is right in our world, and unfortunately it is that sense that gets eroded over time as we learn that things a) don’t always go our way, and b) others will work to undermine us in order to shore up their own confidence.

So if your confidence has taken a beating lately, what are you doing to grow it back?

Make your confidence a priority.

As someone who struggled with low self-confidence for most of my life, I can tell you that this is the most important thing you can do for yourself. No one else can do it for you, and you may find that others will feel threatened by your new self. But don’t let them stop you. You deserve to have that sense of self-worth and self-confidence, and no one else has the right to take that from you.

Here are a few ideas to get you started on the path to growing your self-confidence again:

Do at least one thing per day to build your confidence.

Find ways to incorporate building your confidence into everything you do — phone calls, connections on social media, going a little beyond the boundaries of the familiar can all help. This also helps you be more engaged not only with the people around you, but most importantly, with yourself!

Talk to yourself about your confidence.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a confident woman!” You are worth every bit of confidence and success you desire to have. But… until you believe this yourself, you will have trouble getting it and keeping it.

See yourself as the confident woman you are.

Use visualization techniques to see yourself confident and handling situations that would normally leave you feeling nervous and scared. Focus on what it will feel like to be that confident person you know you can be.

Keep a confidence journal.

Write down at least one thing you did every day that made you feel more confident. Keep track of your successes to remind yourself that you are already confident and that every time you act with confidence you are growing that feeling even more.

Get involved in social media.

Okay … I can hear you thinking “she’s lost her mind” but hear me out for a minute. Social media sites can be a great starting point for growing your self-confidence because you can take small steps without having any face-to-face contact. So for the extremely shy and/or introverted person, using a site like Facebook can be a real confidence booster as you learn or re-learn how to interact with people.

I’ll tell you my story about social media and confidence another day. For now, if you want to connect with me, you can do so here: Lena’s Facebook Page

This may seem like a lot to think about, so I’ll leave you with one final tip.

Don’t be afraid to take a step back when you need to.

Sometimes stepping beyond the borders of the familiar can be overwhelming, so when you need alone time don’t hesitate to take it.

Being self-confident isn’t going to make you an extrovert if you’re not already one, and it doesn’t mean you have to immerse yourself in new situations every minute of the day. In fact, you need to take time out to care for yourself – because I’m betting you don’t do enough of that now — and to reflect on what you’ve already accomplished!

So… are you ready to take that first step?

The post Growing Your Self-Confidence One Step at a Time appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When it comes to meeting new people, your self-confidence can really take a beating. Just last week I had to go out and meet a prospective new client, and let me tell you, I was terrified! I was so sick to my stomach I couldn’t eat my breakfast; the whole way to the meeting I was worried about what I looked like and making a fool out of myself. Even though I know my stuff, and I know I’m good at what I do, every single time I walk out the door I’m the least confident person I know!

So how do I get over it?

Well… sometimes it’s easy, sometimes not so easy. Sometimes it really takes me a while to get used to being around someone new. But since you asked, here are a few things I do to get me through a meeting with new people while keeping my self-confidence reasonably intact.

1. Smile and make eye contact

Facial expressions can make or break you. One of the best ways to make a good first impression is to make eye contact and smile — really smile. Make sure it reaches your eyes, and that the person you are meeting knows you are genuinely happy to be there.

2. Have an opening line ready.

Since I’m not a big talker, opening a conversation is really hard for me. I try to have a couple of opening lines prepared before I ever get to a meeting. Even something as simple as “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” can go a long way toward breaking the ice (and leave me shaking in my shoes).

The fact is your ability to communicate in those first few minutes is crucial. Whether you stand there unable to find the words you need, or you’re a chatterbug who goes on about the first thing that pops into your head — either way you’re not making a good first impression. You need your first conversation to be memorable, but positively so!

3. Dress your best.

Unless you’re walking the red carpet, you don’t need to be dressed in the latest designer fashions, but you do need to look clean and well put together. That means plan your wardrobe, make sure your clothes are clean and pressed, and you’ve taken care of your personal grooming habits.

You can use your clothes to play up your personal best features as well, in order to boost your confidence and make a good impression. If you’ve got great blue eyes, wear something that brings them out. When you know you look good you can’t help but feel more confident, and people will remember that.

4. Watch your mood.

The energy you give off, and the mood you bring to the meeting can play a big role in how people remember you. If you need to be serious, be serious. If you can get away with a joke or two, by all means go for it but don’t play the class clown. Above all, don’t give off the energy like you’re so uncomfortable you’d rather be anywhere else but where you are.

Your mood shows your personality, and can either help or hinder your confidence levels and what kind of impression you make.

5. Make an effort.

I know it’s hard, especially when your confidence is taking a break, but do make the effort to get to know someone. Show interest in them, and try to find some common ground. This applies to meeting new clients, or just getting to know someone at a social event. Establishing a connection is important, and if you can find that common thread and build a conversation around it you’ll not only make a good impression, you’ll find your confidence coming back to you as well.

6. Ask yourself, “What do I want people to remember about me?”

The more I think about it, the more I think this should be #1 on the list. If you know what you want people to take away from meeting you, you will be able to tailor your mood, your body language, your appearance, and your words in order to effect the outcome you intend for the meeting.

It’s a fact of life that there will always be situations where you have to meet new people. Use these tips as a checklist before you head out the door, and you’ll be well on your way to feeling confident about your ability to make a good first impression.

The post Make a Great First Impression and Boost Your Self-Confidence appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

Everyone faces ups and downs in their life. That’s just the way it goes. The important thing is how we handle the challenges and obstacles that are put in our path.

As the Japanese proverb goes, “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” That sums up what I like to call “the art of bouncing back.” Because when it comes right down to it, it’s your ability to bounce back that determines how you live your life. You can either wallow in misery and self-pity and let your challenges keep you down, or you can get right back up again and move forward.

Staying down is easy. It’s the getting back up, being resilient and determined to succeed in the face of obstacles that’s the hard road to take. So to make it a little easier, here are five things to think about when you’re ready to get up and move forward.

1. Be your own first responder.

In times of crisis, when the need is severe enough, we call for help. For example, you don’t think twice when you have a medical emergency about calling for paramedics or the ambulance to take you to a hospital. If your house is on fire, you call the fire department. These trained professionals are there to provide the first response to your problem, and to help you take care of it in the best possible way.

But when life throws you a curve ball that doesn’t fit neatly into a category where there’s a need for a trained first responder, what do you do?

Do you pretend there’s nothing wrong and hope the problem will go away? Or do you immediately take action to address the situation and find a solution?

When you practice the art of bouncing back, you become your own first responder. Instead of staying down, you get up, define the issue, figure out your options, and start planning the best way to deal with it. Because you know how to bounce back, you don’t let any challenge become a major crisis, nor do you let yourself get stressed out over it.

2. Learn from past challenges.

When it comes to challenges you’ve faced in the past there was, no doubt, a lesson to be learned. Did you learn it? Or do you try to bury your past challenges in a place where you’ll never have to think about them again?

The second key to the art of bouncing back is to learn from your past challenges and remember what you learned so that it can be used again should the need arise. I’m not saying you should dwell on the mistakes of your past — that is a sure way to misery — but do focus on the positive lessons that came out of them. Focusing on the positive allows you to realize that in handling a challenge you developed new skills as well as the confidence to use them.

3. Practice every day.

When I was learning how to play the piano, it was important to practice every day so that I could develop my skills. It’s the same with becoming more resilient. The more you practice bouncing back the easier it becomes. It’s a learned skill, just like any other and the “use it or lose it” principle applies here too.

So let me ask you this…

Do you do something that strengthens your ability to bounce back every day? Or do you brood and wallow and feel sorry for yourself that things aren’t going your way?

When you are practicing the art of bouncing back, do one positive thing every single day. It could be as simple as going for a walk, or finishing a project that’s been hanging around. You could call a friend you haven’t talked to in a long time, or you could declutter a closet.

Do something each day that ties in with your life purpose. When you are focused on your purpose and actively living it, you’ll notice that you’re more inclined to get right back up after a setback and keep on going because you’ve got goals to reach and a mission to accomplish.

4. Identify your support system.

When you are facing challenges, it’s important to not try and go it alone. We all need support even if it’s just someone to vent to when you’re having a bad day.

Bouncing back is much easier when you have built up a support system of people you can visit with, call and talk to, or lean on when the going gets rough. It’s much harder to bounce back easily when you’re trying to deal with everything on your own.

If you don’t have a support network, start building one today. Set a goal to make at least one new friend in the coming weeks, and take advantage of any support systems your community offers when you need them.

5. Take care of Number One. (That’s you, in case you were wondering.)

Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do to help you become more resilient. So many times we tend to put our own needs last because we’ve been taught that it’s selfish to think of ourselves first.

Unfortunately we learn the hard way that this is not the case. It’s not until crisis hits and we’re not able to bounce back because we’re worn out and run down from taking care of everyone else that we learn the most important lesson there is: Making your own health and welfare your number one priority is not selfish, it’s self-preservation. You can’t take care of others until you’ve taken care of yourself. You can’t effectively deal with a crisis when you’re so tired and burned out that you can’t think straight.

Take time out every day to take care of yourself. Even if all you can manage is to lock yourself in your bedroom for five minutes of peace and quiet, do it. And if I seem like I’m pushing hard on this point, it’s because I am. It took a heart attack and various other illnesses to wake me up to the fact that I had to take care of my own needs before I worried about anyone else.

Now I make the time to meditate, to cook proper meals, to go to the gym on a regular basis and it really does work. I’m much more capable of dealing with a crisis without stress, and I’m much more able to bounce back from a challenge now than I ever was before.

If you take nothing else away from this, take that and use it. Please.

There will always be challenges, changes, and other obstacles passing through your life, but when you practice the art of bouncing back, they won’t stick around for long. Use the keys presented here to strengthen your resilience and you’ll be up and moving forward again before you know it!

The post The Art of Bouncing Back: Five Keys to Getting Up and Moving Forward After a Challenge appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

If you’re anything like me, when the word “rules” gets mentioned, it’s time to run the other way. So I’m going to ask you to bear with me here, and if you really have an issue with the “R” word then think of these more as guidelines for building self-confidence instead.

I know that it’s entirely possible that you are struggling with doubts that hold you back from reaching your dreams and your potential. You may be a little timid in situations that present obstacles to your success because your self-confidence isn’t quite where it should be.

The rules/guidelines I’m going to share with you today can help you boost your confidence so that you will feel confident in any situation, roadblock or no roadblock.

Self-Confidence Rule #1

Remember that you were created for a purpose and you’re the only one that can do what you were put here to do!

Each one of us has a lot to offer the world, and you are no exception. All you need is to discover the passion inside of you and agree to leave your comfort zone in favor of a life filled with joy.

Self-Confidence Rule #2

Get to know yourself better. It’s much easier to be confident in yourself when you know who you are!

One big obstacle that holds you back from living the life you deserve is a lack of knowledge of who you are. Sit down with a pen and paper, and ask yourself these questions:

• What would you dare to attempt if you knew it was impossible for you to fail?
• What are your dreams? What did you dream about doing and becoming as a child? What have you always wanted to attempt?
• What are your talents? What do your friends and family say you’re good at? What abilities have you received compliments on?
• What are you excited about in your life right now? What’s great about your life?
• What parts of your life do you wish to improve? What steps can you take to improve those areas? Whose help could you enlist?

When you begin to get clear on who you are, what’s important to you, and where you’re headed, you’ll begin to feel empowered and in control of your destiny. This confidence seeps into every area of your life. Allow your passions to fuel your confidence and stir you to action that will move you forward in the direction of your dreams.

Self-Confidence Rule #3

Act confident even when you’re not. The more you pretend …umm practice… the more confident you will become.

You may have heard of this one already, as it’s commonly known as the “fake it ’til you make it” rule. One of the quickest ways to gain confidence is to pretend you’re confident already. It may seem silly at first, but if you begin to move your body and speak like you would if you were confident, you’ll quickly gain self-confidence.

If you’re not sure how to do this, do some people-watching and look for confident people. Ask yourself these questions while you’re checking out the human scenery:

• How fast does a confident person speak?
• At what volume does she speak?
• How does she gesture with her hands?
• How fast does she walk?
• How does she move her body?

Pretend you’re confident by moving your body in confident ways. Your motions will follow the movement of your body.

Self-Confidence Rule #4

Find a confidence mentor. Who do you know that’s already confident? Ask them to help you be more confident too.

Confidence breeds success. As you accomplish the things you set out to achieve, your confidence in your abilities will grow. You can experience this increasing confidence by trial and error. Or, you can shorten the learning curve dramatically through a mentor.

Search out the person who’s the best at what you’re trying to accomplish. Approach that person and ask them to show you the ropes. Ask them to show you how they arrived at their success and how they maintain it. With a mentor, your chances of success increase dramatically, thereby strengthening your confidence.

Self-Confidence Rule #5

Believe in yourself. Trust yourself enough to know you have the ability to go for your dreams and achieve them!

Confidence in yourself and your abilities is within your reach. Starting today, you can begin to feel the ease that comes from faith in your own abilities and talents. By following these rules, you can take seemingly small steps that lead to a giant reward. Increase your confidence and begin to experience the successful life you deserve.

That wasn’t so bad was it? If these are rules you can live with, let me know in the comments section.. I’d love to hear how they work for you!

The post 5 Rules for Building Self-Confidence appeared first on The Acorn Stash.

Let’s change that thought right now. The truth is that meditation can be used to strengthen any emotion or skill.

When you meditate, you bring a great amount of awareness into your mind. In the moment of meditation you hold the power to decide exactly what your life is all about. The past and the future melt away, and all that’s left is you. So when you actively decide to boost your confidence, you will!

Three Steps To Bringing Confidence Into Your Awareness

1. Bring Past Feelings Into The Present

The first thing you should do is recognize what confidence feels like to you. Take a moment to recall different times in your life that you felt especially confident. How exactly did you feel?

For example, maybe you remember a time when you entered a sports competition. You trained hard and you believed in yourself. How did you feel when you were standing on the start line?

Now, imagine that you now have to lead a group of people at work. You’re feeling a little scared about it because all of the details are not falling into place as you’d like. Meditate on the feelings of confidence.

Bring the positive emotions from past successes into your present and approach your problem with those positive feelings instead.

2. Visualize Your Future

In order to strengthen your meditation skills to encourage greater confidence, it may help to picture future circumstances turning out in your favor. When you sit down to meditate, be very detailed in your visions. Use the confident feelings you know you have and place them into the situations you’re envisioning.

This is a good activity to try if you feel that negative emotions are overtaking you. However, for the most part you should be concentrating on the present moment and taking life one breath at a time.

3. Stay In The Moment

Sometimes when you’re overwhelmed with problems you will feel negative emotions, instead of the confidence you need to overcome challenges. This is when it’s especially important to stay in the now.

When you meditate on each breath and focus on the present moment, you’ll realize how very simple life is among the complexity. You’ll be able to calm down. With a calm head you can then reach for the confidence you seek.

Meditation Basics to Remember

· Find a place where you can be alone with your thoughts.
· Sit in an upright position with good posture.
· Fight the urge to take a nap or go to bed.
· Take deep inhales and long exhales.
· Pause in between breaths.
· Repeat a mantra or affirmation to yourself as you breathe in and out. An example of something simple to repeat to yourself is “I am confident”.

Meditate Often

Meditation is an art that takes practice. Just like anything else, when you practice often you’ll get better at it. You should use the art of meditation for more than just an emergency confidence booster.

Plan to make meditation a part of your every day routine!

The more you practice, the easier it will be for you to reach your meditative state. You will also find that the more you meditate, the more you will see which forms of meditation work best for you. Understanding and confidence will become part of your life and you’ll feel a greater power within.

It’s easy to talk and read about meditation, but it’s quite another experience to do it.

In theory it sounds like such an easy and delightful practice. The truth is that you’re likely to get bored at first and you’ll probably make excuses about whether or not you really have the time for it. Strive to remain disciplined and keep up with your practice. When you do, you’ll experience a true inner peace and confidence like never before.

Photo Credit: © Christophe Baudot | Dreamstime.com

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