Being Happy and Living Your Passion Just Outside Your Comfort Zone

Otonabee River in fallThere’s been a lot of talk lately about stretching boundaries and moving beyond your comfort zone. Most of it has to do with moving into areas where you are challenged to do something that is extremely UNcomfortable for you. Makes sense right? Moving outside your comfort zone shouldn’t be really easy, should it?

For me, the uncomfortable challenge is an upcoming branding challenge that I’m going to be participating in next month. The participants have already been warned to expect the unexpected and to be pushed beyond the limits of where we’re comfortable in our businesses.

That got me thinking about the whole notion of comfort zones. I’ve always been of the mindset that growing and moving beyond your boundaries had to be an unpleasant experience. I think it’s that whole “if it doesn’t kill me, it will make me stronger” thing. Like if I can force myself to make this change that I know is going to hurt but is good for me anyways, I will be so much bigger, better, faster, etc. etc. etc. But nowhere in there does it say I will be happy about it.

And quite frankly, that ticks me off. I want to live my passions, and since you’re here I’m assuming you do too. And there’s nothing in any book I’ve ever read that says that you have to be unhappy or uncomfortable. In fact, the whole idea of living your passion is to be happier and more comfortable in your own skin and with your own life.

The more I think about it, the more I think that if you do it in a way that’s right for you, then moving outside your comfort zone can and should be a rewarding, fun, and yes, even a happy experience. There is no reason that doing something new has to be a nail-biting, ulcer-inducing experience unless you want it to be. (Although I will admit that’s kind of how I feel about this upcoming branding challenge.) But that’s how we’ve been conditioned to react to change.

The key word there is REACT. If we were to be PRO-active agents of change in our lives, then making those changes would have to be a much happier experience. Wouldn’t they?

Your Life Passion and Your Comfort Zone

One of the big problems with going outside your comfort zone, at least the way it’s been taught, is that it has to be something really big, really life changing. And really big and really life-changing, by definition is really uncomfortable. Now, I don’t know about you, but to me really uncomfortable doesn’t have anything at all to do with being passionate. In my book, uncomfortable relates to wrong and for me to be passionate about something means it has to feel right to me.

So, the question is how to expand your focus on your life passions and move outside your boundaries at the same time?

The first thing to do is realize and accept that moving beyond the boundaries you are comfortable with can be done in baby steps. You can change your life with baby steps just as easily as you can with huge, life-altering leaps.

I’m a big fan of baby steps. I’ve done the life-altering leap a few times, and it’s never worked out well for me.

So, what kind of baby steps can you take to move outside your comfort zone and into your life passion?

  • You could read a book that you might not have thought about reading before.
  • You could watch a movie that presents a different look at your passions.
  • You could sign up for a class that would give you more insight into your chosen passion.
  • You could get involved with the arts community in your town.
  • You could volunteer at a shelter (for humans or animals) or a hospital or a senior’s home, etc. and share your love and energy with someone whose spirits need lifting.

And if that’s too much for you, you can start with even smaller steps.

  • Go for a walk in your neighbourhood and actually talk to your neighbours.
  • Buy a new item of clothing in a colour you normally wouldn’t consider.
  • Try a new restaurant or a new recipe.

None of these things by themselves is totally earth-shattering or life-changing. But each is an action in itself that you can feel happy about, and each one also pokes a little more at the barrier of your comfort zone. And each time you poke a little by doing something new and fun that makes you happy, you move that barrier back just a little further and these new experiences become part of your comfort zone instead of something beyond it.

The other thing is, that each one of the baby steps you take also fuels your passion even more. So that the more baby steps you take, the more you are living your passion almost without realizing it.

Finding A Purpose: 8 Clues For Finding Your Purpose In Life

river through the treesI never ever thought I’d be sitting here writing about finding your life purpose.

Why?

Because I could never quite figure out what mine was supposed to be. And to be very honest with you, I thought the whole exercise was really quite annoying. I mean, it’s so much easier just to go through life having fun and dealing with things as they happen without dealing with the bigger picture of why you are here.

Until one day it’s just not enough. Or people start bugging you to figure out what you really want to do with your life, or really questioning you as to what your purpose in life is. I have a very good friend who has pushed and prodded me on this topic until there were days that I just wanted to scream at her to shut up about it.

In truth, I really wasn’t willing at the time to take the time to really look at my own life and answer the tough questions. But here’s the thing … your life purpose will catch up with you whether you’re ready for it or not. One day it will just stop you in your tracks and shout “Here I am, you can’t ignore me any longer.”

Let me tell you, when that happens, it really takes all sense of control away from you. So it’s much better, if you can, to take some time to think about your purpose for being here now. If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few ideas you can work with to find your unique life purpose….

1. Think about what makes you happy.

Your life purpose will not be something that makes you unhappy. If you stop and think about the times when you feel most happy and content, that’s a clue to what your ultimate purpose will be.

2. Think about what talents and skills you have.

Everyone has something that they are good at and that they love to do. Using your unique skills and talents is another piece of the puzzle in determining your life purpose.

3. Write down your thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes your biggest clues will come when you just allow yourself to write about your thoughts and feelings. My biggest clue came from doing the “morning pages” exercise in Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way.”

Allowing yourself the freedom to write, uncensored and unedited, gives your mind the space it needs to just dump everything. You will be very surprised at what comes out, and you just may find your purpose staring up at you from the page.

4. Think about your core values.

What makes you tick? What ticks you off? Can your values provide more clues as to what direction and purpose your life should take? You bet they can. Your life purpose will not conflict with the heart of who you are.

5. Talk to people who have already figured out their purpose.

Sometimes a conversation is all you need. Remember the friend I mentioned earlier who was pushing me to figure out my own purpose? She knows her own purpose in life, and it’s through watching her and talking with her on a regular basis that I was able to figure out at least where to start looking for my own purpose.

6. Think about your passions.

This goes along with thinking about what makes you happy. What are you passionate about? Is it a hobby, or a cause, or something you just can’t stop thinking about?

If you’re passionate about something, it may be that is your purpose right there. It may also be that it is only a piece of your purpose, but you can bet that if you’re really passionate about something it has a place iin your purose even if it’s not the whole package.

7. Think about what’s changing in your life.

Most people, myself included, are at least a little afraid of change. This often holds us back from really embracing our purpose even if we know what it is.

Making changes, or having changes thrust upon us, is one of the ways the Universe prepares us for living our purpose. And whether we like it or not, it happens. If you can overcome your fear of change and really accept it, then you will be able to see your purpose much more clearly.

8. Pay attention to what keeps showing up in your life.

This is a biggie, and it goes along with thinking about what is changing in your life. What keeps showing up? Is it a certain topic, or issue that you keep coming into contact with. Is it a person or group of people that you keep running into or thinking about? Is it a health issue that just won’t go away or that requires you to really stop and think about your life?

The things and people that show up in your life when you’re thinking about your purpose are often a good indicator of where that purpose lies.

One last thing…

We humans tend to make things much harder than they have to be. Finding your purpose in life is one of those things. So many times I’ve seen and heard people discount what is their obvious purpose because they think it’s not big enough, not grand enough.

Your purpose doesn’t have to save the world. But it might. Then again, it might only be to help one person.

You may have to travel the world to find it. Or it might be waiting for you right outside your front door.

And if you’re worried about your purpose not being big enough, consider these words from someone much wiser than I…

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you.” ~ Mother Teresa

Ask the Questions, Trust the Answers

The coffee was cold, the clock was ticking away in the background, and still the screen remained blank. The day was half over and still there was no article, no newsletter ready to be mailed. The sense of panic bordered on overwhelming.

“Late again,” I thought to myself, “I am such a disappointment to my readers and to myself. Why can’t I get this article written and out on time. Maybe I should change the first issue of the week to Tuesday because I can’t seem to get it done for Monday, no matter what.”

And then, that little voice that’s been growing louder and louder over the past few weeks (ever since I re-started this project) yelled at me, “That’s the wimp’s way out! You can do this, you know you can do this. Just ask the questions and trust the answers.”

Two things kept coming up over the weekend — butterflies, and the idea of self-trust. At first I thought that it was a sign to me that something big was about to change (and I’m still not totally convince that that’s not the case). But the more I think about it, and as I search for more concrete answers about my own life purpose (I’m turning 50 soon, and it’s really doing a number on my head), I really think that it has to do with trusting yourself to know on a really deep level what is right for you.

There’s a quote by Lao Tzu that really resonates with me: “At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”

Those words ring so true to me, and on some level I know exactly who I am, what I want, and what my life purpose is. I’d be willing to venture that on some level you know the answers too. The tricky part is bringing it to the surface by asking the right questions, and then trusting — and accepting — the answers you get. For some reason, there are so many (me included) who would rather have someone else give us the answer.

Why? Because we don’t trust ourselves to know what is best.

And why is that? Because we have been socialized to always look outside ourselves for the answers. (And that is opens up a whole other discussion, doesn’t it?)

So my questions to you today are:

1. Are you asking yourself the right questions to discover who you are and what you want?

2. Do you trust yourself to accept the answers you get?

What Are the Right Questions?

At some point, the questions will become as individual as the answers. It really is a process of self-discovery and your right questions will not be the same as my right questions.

Whatever the answer turns out to be, it is always, at the root, shaped by the question that precedes it. Consider this starting point:

Am I happy?

It’s a simple question that requires only a yes or no answer to get you started.

If yes, why?

If no, why not?

That takes you a little deeper into the next layer of questions.

Why am I happy?
Could I be more happy?
What should I change to make it so?

That’s a pretty simplistic example, but I wanted to give you an idea of where you can go with this. Other people, wiser and more experienced than I, have written volumes about it. (Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles” comes to mind. I’m reading it right now, and he asks some pretty tough questions.)

Do I Trust the Answer?

You will know when you have the right answer to match the question as well. You will feel it in your bones, and in the very breath you take.

I find that when I am trusting the answers I get, I can breathe easier and I feel lighter. I can’t help but smile when I know I’m on the right track. Again, I can’t say that this will work for you but here’s how I know I’ve got the right answer and I’m at peace with myself.

Question: Am I happy in this moment?

Answer: Yes, I am.

Question: Why?

Answer: I am happy because the sun is shining, there’s a breeze blowing in the window, it’s peaceful and quiet here (I live in the city centre, so believe me when I say quiet makes me very happy), and I’m writing from my heart.

Do I trust this answer? Take a deep breath here … Absolutely! I am breathing in the truth of it, and it makes me smile. :)

The whole process takes only a fraction of a second. It took a lot longer to write out for you than to actually do.

When you get it right, it feels really great!

If you try it, I’d love to hear your experiences. Please share them in the comments section.  (Or if you’re really shy, just email me.  It’ll be our secret.)

 

Image Credit: The Morgue File

What Stops You From Living Your Passion?

A popular question in many personal development books and courses is “What would you do if you knew it was impossible to fail?” The answers are as varied and individual as we are. And yet so many people, myself included, don’t choose to follow their dreams or live their life passion. And it’s sad to know that life could be so much more if only we were willing to take the risk.

So what is that holds so many people, myself included, from following their dreams and living their life passion?

A lot of the time, the reasons why people don’t follow their dreams can be found within their mindset. It is vital to success in any area of life that we believe in ourselves and our abilities. Even before we take the first step on the path to making our dreams reality, we must have a belief that succeess is ours for the taking.

But we don’t know it. Or we do know it, and then we let all those pesky self doubts creep in. We question. Our resources, finances, abilities, and sometimes even our intelligence all come under scrutiny, and are usually found wanting. And then we let all those self doubts stop us in our tracks, sometimes for years — sometimes even for a lifetime.

The main culprit in all of this is fear. Fear that we can’t do it; fear that we’ll look stupid for even trying; even fear that every thing will go smoothly and we’ll succeed!

There’s no doubt that going after your dreams is a scary proposition for most people. We get so used to our comfort zone, and it’s risky to move beyond. There’s a whole new world out there, and it can be a very scary place. But, as the saying goes, the most successful people are the ones who feel the fear and do it anyway.

The first step in living your passion is to get over the fear. If you let the fear stop you from taking action, you will never achieve your dreams. But, if you face your fears and take action then no matter when you start, you will live your passion and achieve the success you deserve.

What holds you back from living your passion? Leave a comment and join the discussion.