Things My Mother Taught Me About Finding Inner Peace

White FlowersIn last week’s article we talked about what sabotages your inner peace. Today the focus is on what you can do to get that inner peace back.

There are several ways to go about finding or reclaiming your sense of inner peace. The funny thing about what I’m sharing with you today is that as I was writing I realized just about everything that was landing on the page was something my mother had said to me more than once. I probably didn’t listen much when she was telling me, or at least I didn’t act on what she was telling me at the time but as I get older I find it amazing the amount of mother’s wisdom that comes back to me when I least expect it.

So here you go … Tips on finding inner peace, the way my mother taught them…

1. Slow down and count to ten.

There’s a reason my mom taught me this. It works. Slowing down your mind when you’re stressed and lacking in any sense of peace by doing something simple as counting to ten really does work as a way to calm yourself down.

Once you’ve got yourself calmed down just that tiny little bit, you can usually hang on to the peaceful feeling long enough to deal with whatever got you riled up in the first place.

2. Go for a walk.

There’s something about walking that will help you find peace no matter how slim the thread is. Whether it’s just the fact that you’re moving and have time to process what you are dealing with and how you are feeling about it, or the soothing nature of being outside, it really does work. Even if you can just get away for five minutes you will feel that sense of calm and peacefulness making its way back into your system.

3. Don’t take everything so personally.

It’s a sad fact that once of the biggest saboteurs of our inner peace is that we allow what other people say to get to us. As a child I had really bad buck teeth, and other kids made fun of me all the time. I had no inner peace because I took all their teasing to heart. That led to a miserable childhood because I took whatever anyone said about me so seriously that I lost my sense of self as well by trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be.

It took me a long time to learn that other people’s opinions of who I am and what I do are just that … their opinions. I still have days where I take things too personally, but most of the time now I am able to maintain my peace by realizing that what other people say reflects their issues, not mine.

4. Find one good thing.

My mom taught me to look for the good in every situation, but she wasn’t very good at doing that herself. By watching her and how she dealt with problems, I found out for myself that by actively looking for something positive to take from a problem or setback, I was much more peaceful inside than I would be if I picked everything apart and focused on what went wrong.

It may be the littlest thing, like a flower peeking up from a crack in the sidewalk, a baby’s smile, or even a butterfly that triggers your inner peace. You’ll know it when it happens because it feels like the world has just shifted, and you just sigh in relief and say thank goodness that’s over.

5. Don’t be a drama queen (or king).

Drama and inner peace do not go hand in hand, despite what Hollywood filmmakers would have you believe. The more you avoid the drama in other people’s lives, and especially in your own, the more peaceful you will be.

There will always be some drama in your life, but how it affects you is totally determined by your reaction to it. If you come at it from a place of peace and serenity, then you will find that you will be able to deal with whatever is happening more calmly than you would if you let the drama of the situation take over.

And if you find yourself getting caught in a situation where your peace is threatened, well…. See point number one again… Slow down, take a deep breath, and count to ten.

Thanks Mom!

What’s Sabotaging Your Inner Peace?

zen rocks Inner peace is such a fragile thing. Like fine china, it doesn’t take much to shatter it, but when it’s taken care of it will last for a lifetime.

Unless of course, you lose or misplace it along the way.

It’s very easy to lose your inner peace. We are continually bombarded with distractions that stress us out and batter the walls of our peace-loving inner selves. If you’ve ever suffered from stress-related illnesses such as high blood pressure or heart disease you know how important having that peaceful place inside of you is. But it’s not just about keeping your blood pressure down or the heart attacks at bay….

Inner peace is important to everyone, not just those who use it to deal with illnesses. The ability to take a deep breath and draw on your own inner peace is an essential part of dealing with the stress that comes your way every day. Ironic, isn’t it, that the things that threaten to destroy it are the very things you rely on your inner peace to help you deal with.

So… What are these saboteurs of inner peace, and what can we do about them?

1. Feeling Anger or Resentment

A lot of negative energy and stress can be attributed to holding on to feelings of anger and/or resentment. When you’re angry you are definitely not feeling peaceful, so it’s best to find a way to let these feelings go. (Yes, I know it’s easier said than done.)

2. Resisting Change and Other Challenges

If we spend all our energy resisting the changes and other challenges that are a part of life, we pay for that resistance by losing our sense of inner peace. Finding a way to work with the change, looking for the positive feelings you can take out of it will go a long way toward re-establishing the peace that fighting the situation has destroyed.

3. Beating Yourself Up

Whether we notice we’re doing it or not, there are a lot of times when we expect way too much from ourselves. Expecting yourself to always be perfect and to never make a mistake is a sure way to erode any inner peace you might have had. As you learn to accept yourself, mistakes and all, your sense of peace and inner calm will return.

4. Regretting Things You Can’t Change

This goes somewhat hand in hand with beating yourself up. You can’t go back and change the past, so worrying about what’s already done is another way that you sabotage your sense of inner peace.

5. Giving In To Fear

Fear is another one of those insidious villains that steals our sense of peace. Whether it’s a fear of tangible things like heights and spiders, or a fear of intangible things like failure or success, giving in to fear will eventually rob you of every shred of inner peace you have. The only way around this is to work at and eventually overcome your fears, or accept that there are always things you will be afraid of and find a way to live with that.

With all of these negative influences on our lives, you may be wondering how anyone could achieve inner peace. The good thing is that once you become aware of what is stealing yoru sense of peace, you can work on eliminating those negative influences from your life.

As well, there are many ways you can go about introducing a sense of peace back into your life. These include using meditation, doing deep breathing exercises when you start to feel stressed, listening to music, or getting outside for a break to recharge.

The biggest thing to remember when it comes to regaining your inner peace, is to make time for yourself. Adding “me time” to your daily routine is a great way to ensure that your own sense of inner peace stays filled, ready for you to draw on when needed.

So… What’s sabotaging your inner peace, and how do you deal with it? Join in the discussion and leave a comment here.

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