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3 Tips For Making Lifestyle Changes With Confidence

August 10, 2012 By Lena Leave a Comment

lifestyle changes | self-confidence It’s no secret that we humans don’t like change. If you did a survey, you’d most likely find that at least 90 out of 100 people would tell you that they do not enjoy change.

Change is not easy because humans are creatures of habit. After all, they don’t call it a “comfort zone” for nothing. You want to continue living in a certain routine once you have conditioned your body and mind to function in that way. This makes you feel comfortable with your surroundings and decisions. Even when it’s not really comfortable any more, it’s still easier to stick with the familiar than it is to initiate a lifestyle change.

But change is necessary in order for us to grow. So even if you don’t like change, you need to find ways to make healthy lifestyle changes easier. There are also tools you can use to welcome change into your life, even when you’re entering new uncharted territory.

Here are 3 ways to make lifestyle changes easier for you:

1. Make a list of pros and cons.

If you know you need to make changes in your life and you aren’t looking forward to doing so, you can do a simple exercise that will make the change easier to handle.

Take a sheet of paper, and on one side write “Pros,” and on the other write, “Cons.” On the corresponding side you will write the pros and the cons of the change so you can see what the benefits and drawbacks might be.

As you do this exercise, you may realize that the very thing holding you back is the fear of change itself.

Seeing the pros and cons will help you realize how it will benefit you to make the change. This allows you to warm up to the thought that change actually might actually be a good idea!

2. Make your changes gradually.

Another way to make lifestyle changes easier is to work up to them. It’s a shock to the system when you try to make wholesale changes overnight. Take small steps toward making the changes permanent.

For instance, if the healthy lifestyle changes that you need to make center around quitting smoking you may not want to quit cold turkey; instead you can work up to it. I did this, and even though it took awhile I finally quit and am happy to say I’ve been smoke free for almost seven years now.

3. Use Affirmations.

Another way to help make lifestyle changes easier is to use positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements that encapsulate the way you would ideally think or behave.

You can either create your own affirmations or look for statements that others have created. The key is that you find an affirmation that speaks to you.

Words are powerful and, when you repeat the same words over time, they continue to resonate through your mind. When the words are positive you’ll find that you can tap into the positive thought anytime or anywhere.

If you’re worried about making a healthy lifestyle change, you don’t have to be. Instead, you can remind yourself why you want to change by saying something like, “Change is healthy. I am excited to experience new opportunities.”

When you repeat an affirmation often enough, it becomes your response to the negative energy and anxiety you feel. You become more confident in dealing with change when you know you can replace the negative thoughts with positive ones as soon as they occur.

Some lifestyle changes are harder than others to become accustomed to even when we desire to make the changes. Many times just one of these tips will help you to implement the change, while other times you may need to use a variety of methods to feel at ease about the change.

Use the “pro and con” method to see the benefits. Then bring the change in gradually while you accept it through your affirmations. These techniques will help you feel confident so you can enjoy the benefits of your new lifestyle.

For more affirmations feel free to connect with me on either Facebook or Twitter. I post new tips and affirmations every day for building your confidence and living your best life.

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Making Changes – Six Easy Steps to Lasting Change

August 8, 2012 By Lena 2 Comments

making changesI’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction and the idea that what you think about is what you get. Or to quote someone much wiser than I, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” (Norman Vincent Peale)

If, for example, you want to build up your self-confidence, then you need to change the way you think about yourself.

So how do you do that?

Here are six steps to personal growth and lasting change that you will go through regardless of what it is that you are wanting to change in your life.

1. A growing awareness that something needs to change…

You can’t make a change unless you are aware that a change needs to be made. (Well, you can … but it won’t stick.) Call it gut instinct or intuition or whatever other name you want to give it, but it’s all the same. When it’s time to make a change you will know it.

You’ll also start seeing ways that you might accomplish the change as well. For example, when you realize that you need to build up your self-confidence you might start to think of ways you can create more positive self talk. Or you might start seeing a more positive self-image for yourself.

You will also, at this stage, start noticing what you do not want in your life. Pay attention to this because knowing what you don’t want makes it much easier to figure out what you DO want. Having this awareness makes it that much clearer what your next step should be.

2. Examining your thoughts and feelings helps develop clarity around the issue.

Ask yourself questions about why you feel the way you do, and what you would like to do differently. Pay attention to the answers and any emotions that come along with them.

Write down your answers in a journal while they’re still fresh in your mind so that you don’t lose your first instincts in the process of changing and growing.

I’ve learned the hard way that your first impressions are usually the most accurate, so it’s nice to have a record of them as a reminder when you start resisting change and trying to rationalize why things should stay the same.

3. Set an intention for success.

Setting your intentions can make or break you when it comes to making lasting change. Put your heart and emotions into creating a strong intention and say it out loud like you really mean it and your life depends on it. When you really put your heart into your intentions, the Universe can’t help but hear and set the wheels in motion to make sure you get what you are attracting.

4. Take action on your intention.

One of the biggest reasons that change doesn’t stick is because people don’t take action. I’m guilty of it, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.

You must take action on your intention to get the results you want!

Taking action might feel uncomfortable at first because you are actually doing something that brings about change. It’s not always easy, especially when you are trying to break long-established habits.

The best advice I can give you here is to stick with it. Take one small action to boost your self-confidence every day and before long you will see positive results.

5. Keep making improvements until it feels exactly right.

Making changes in your life is largely a process of trial and error. Keep trying new things. Test what makes you feel confident and strong, and notice what makes you feel on edge, like something is still not quite right. Keep the positives and toss out the negatives and try something else.

6. Integrate the changes so they become a permanent part of your lifestyle.

Once you hit on the right buttons to build your self-confidence, then keep practicing in order to make your new mindset a permanent part of your life. Thinking positive, uplifting thoughts about yourself should become second nature with practice.

Making changes in your life is largely a product of self-awareness. By following through on the little nudges you get from your mind and intuition, you will be able to make the positive changes that enable you to live life to the fullest.

Photo Credit: © Tomgriger | Dreamstime.com

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Five Tips For Changing the Way You Look At Things

June 21, 2012 By Lena 2 Comments

Have you ever noticed how sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can spot something you’ve never noticed. I find this a lot with design and coding work. I won’t be able to find a mistake, and I’ll get so frustrated I have to get up and walk away. After a break, when I come back with fresh eyes the mistake is usually glaringly obvious.

It’s the same with your life. If you think about it, how you feel is largely determined by how you see things. So when you’re feeling stuck, if you change the way you approach your stuckness, you’ll often find a way to move forward.

Perspective is everything, and if you can find a way to change yours, then you may find a new view of your life that is very different than what you’ve been living.

“But I don’t know where to start!”

Just like any other change, changing the way you look at things can be scary at first. If you don’t know where to start, you’re definitely not alone.

Here are five ways you can change your perspective, so that you see your life in a different light.

1. Look for the positive in each situation

Often we tend to see events that impact us negatively in the worst possible light. But if you can find a positive spin to put on it you may see things differently. It might not even turn out to be about you.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

What if your two best friends went out shopping together and didn’t invite you. You may feel rejected, left out, and even a little ticked off at them.

If you were to think of positive reasons why this might have happened, you may come up with reasons why this could happen that have nothing to do with you. Maybe in was a spur-of-the-moment thing, where they were both running out to get something quickly. Maybe you have a birthday coming up, and they were shopping for your birthday present.

When you can change your perspective to view things in a positive way, you’ll find your life begins to be more positive as well.

2. Allow the improbable to become possible.

It’s easy to get caught up in seeing difficult things as impossible. But when you stop and think about it, every impossible thing begins with a seed of possibility that requires you to stretch your boundaries to achieve.

So what would happen if you allowed yourself to suspend disbelief and changed your perspective to view the improbable or impossible and something you could achieve?

One of the areas I’ve found this works is in my attempts to lose weight. As soon as I switched my perspective from dieting and deprivation to clean eating and making lifestyle changes, what I thought was an impossible goal is slowly becoming a reality.

3. Change your perception of other people.

This is similar to the first point, but I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not easy to do. We get an idea of what someone should be like, formed from gut instincts and first impressions, and it’s not always easy to change that.

The other time it pays to change how you look at people is if you’ve been upset or hurt by someone. Sometimes it’s intentional, but often it’s not and we can hold on to a lot of resentment and negative energy that keeps us stuck because we’re not willing to let go of it.

When you see things in a more positive light, consider that they were having a bad day, and that it had nothing to do with you. If you can let go of the hurt and not hold a grudge you can change the way you react to that person, and change your own life at the same time. They might not even be aware that you’ve been hurt by their actions because it was never about you in the first place! As the saying goes, the only person that gets hurt by you holding on is you.

4. Keep an open mind.

In order to grow and move forward, you have to meet new people and get involved in new situations. Life stands still if you’re not open to change. And believe me, as someone who let their life stand still for years… it’s not much fun.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is keep an open mind and just take a leap into the unknown. Your best ideas may come from being open to change and hearing other people’s perspectives.

5. Avoid falling back into your old patterns.

The trick to changing the way you see things is to not allow yourself to fall back on your old perceptions of how things should be. For example, if you’re trying to see your life in a more positive light, then looking at people and events through the lens of negativity is not going to help you move forward.

If you practice these tips to change your perspective, the things you look at in your life will also change. Best of all, perhaps, is that you will discover the power you have over your own life and emotions, and this will give you the confidence to live the best possible life you can.

When you’re tempted to fall back into your old way of seeing, remember this:

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be” ~ Lao Tzu

I can’t wait to see what you become!

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Change Through Addiction Recovery, Available, Right Now!

January 18, 2012 By Lena 3 Comments

(This is a guest post by Anita Fiander of AnitaFiander.com)

Inside this very short article I am going to explain to you how I have created massive change through addiction recovery in my life and how you can do it too.

How do I know this stuff works and will continue to work?

Because I have invested almost 25 years researching and then taking action to change my life, from a huge career change, tackling alcohol and nicotine addiction and learning to use my dysfunctional past to help other women.

In order to live a full and complete life, we must learn how to let go of past failures and disappointments and not carry them with us into our future.

Hanging on to pain, bitterness and disappointment from our past is a heavy burden. It affects your moods, attitudes, relationships, job and all aspects of your life. Negativity eats away at your self-esteem and destroys any possibility of a life free from pain.

Fortunately, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel! Your future doesn’t have to be a repetition of your past. You don’t need to be destined to a life of pain, regardless of what you’ve already been through. You can lay down your burdens. It’s okay for you to be free. In fact, you deserve it!

These four steps will help you move forward and find the freedom you need to begin living a fuller, more enjoyable life, through addiction recovery.

  1. Talk about it. Discuss your past pain, fear, disappointment or trauma with a trusted friend or family member. Fully express the feelings associated with the situation: cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to release the bottled up emotions in a safe way.
  • Until you really talk about the feelings connected to your past, you may not be able to move past them.Once you’ve spoken the words, release them from your mind forever. As hard as it may be, it’s the only way to free yourself from your past.
  1. Use a journal. Writing in a journal is an excellent way to pour out your pain. A journal offers the safety of knowing your words are just for you and won’t be read by anyone else. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or even if the words follow a logical progression, simply write from the heart.
  • Physically writing your thoughts and feelings can release your emotions so you can move past them.
  1. Seek forgiveness.Many people misunderstand the meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened to you is unimportant or you’re saying it’s “okay.” In fact, forgiveness isn’t about the other person at all.Forgiveness simply means that you’ve made the choice to let go of the desire to exact revenge and punishment, and you’ve found closure within your heart and soul.
  •  Forgiveness releases you from the burden of carrying the pain any longer. By choosing to forgive, you can stop thinking about the past so it won’t control your future.
  1. Seek professional guidance. You can choose to get help from a life coach or therapist.The people closest to us aren’t always the best choice to help us work through our pain.

    It may be difficult for us to fully open up about our deepest pain or it may be hard for them to step back far enough to help us through it.

  • Seeking guidance from a professional gives us the safety of relative anonymity, which can make it easier to share our problems, through addiction recovery. Often a coach or counselor can help us see a new point of view, which can help us move forward.

 

About Anita

Anita Fiander is an Addiction Specialist, Speaker, Author & Recovery Coach, Lifelong Psychology Student, and a Thought Leader in Addiction.

…And her passion is to empower women through addiction recovery.

We invite you to find out more about Anita Fiander and her programs. Let us see if what she has can help you.

Find her here: http://www.anitafiander.com/contact

 

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Choosing to Live in the Moment – 5 Reasons Why It’s Good For You

January 13, 2012 By Lena 2 Comments

William Feather quote about enjoying todays sunshineIt’s the beginning of the new year and everyone that I know is either in planning mode, or was more organized than I and has already started to execute their plans for the year. Not me. I have the plan, but somewhere along the way I got sidetracked during the implementation process. But I’m okay with that because for me this year, it’s all about getting healthy and re-learning how to live outside of my office.

Before you start thinking I’ve lost my mind, let me just say that doesn’t mean I don’t have goals and plans for the year. I have a list as long as my right arm of places I’d like to go and things I’d like to do this year and some of them even involve work! More importantly though, it means that instead of focusing one hundred percent on business this year, I’m leaving time to live in the moment and explore all the opportunities that come my way through unexpected doors and windows.

Here are five reasons why I’m doing this, and why you should too.

1. Life is too darn short to live anywhere else.

It’s probably not politically correct to say, but I’m not getting any younger, and neither are you. Each day only comes once, and what you make of it is up to you. If you spend it all focused on the future it’s just too easy to let the opportunities that lie right in front of you go past without even recognizing them for what they are.

How many doors have you passed by that might have led to awesome experiences because you were too focused on either the past or the future to notice the now?

2. You get to be spontaneous and open some of those doorways.

You know that saying, “you’re only young once”? Well, it’s true. As I alluded to in the point above, life really is too short to have every minute planned and scheduled. I can honestly say that I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time getting focused on work this year — I forgot to build play time into my schedule.

If you’ve been around here for any length of time at all, you’ll know that my inner child lives pretty close to the surface. I like to play and when I can’t I get very grumpy. Living in the moment allows me to work when the work needs to be done, but also leaves room to set it aside and go out to play when the opportunity presents itself. Whether it’s coffee with a friend, or just a walk in the park and a swing on the swings I much prefer allowing myself the freedom to do that than worrying about whether or not I should be doing it. I guess when it comes right down to it, I’d much rather make memories than money.

Which brings me to my third reason for living in the moment…

3. You learn a lot about the person in the mirror.

The best thing you can do for yourself is really get to know yourself … what you want, what you need, what’s important to you … not what other people tell you that you should want, need and care about.

Living in the moment allows you the freedom to pay attention to what you really want your life to be like. It may surprise you to see that what you really want is not always what you have planned for.

4. You can let go of your worries just for the moment.

Have you ever noticed that when you spend most of your time planning for the future, you are worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet?

Worrying about the future can lead to stress, which leads to all kinds of nasty things – heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes included. When you live for the moment instead, you can choose to let go of your worries and your stress, just for that moment! Even if you only stop worrying for a minute and then go right back to it, at least you will have had one minute’s contentment and peace.

Try it now. Stop and take a deep breath and feel the stillness when you do. Breathe in all the calm, peaceful energy you can conjure up and don’t let any worries spoil your minute.

When you live in the moment, you can choose peace or stress every sixty seconds. Which will you choose?

5. There’s actually room for family and friends here.

When you’re stressed and stuck worrying about what has happened in the past, or what will happen in the future, there’s really no room for the people in your life now. You might have a life but you sure don’t get to live it.

Making the choice to live more fully in the moment allows room for your partner, your children, your family and your friends to be a part of your life. Not only do you get to have a life, you get to live that life, to spend time with the people that are important to you. Whether that means going on vacation, or just going for a walk in the park together is your choice.

Learning to live in the moment is one of the nicest things we can do for ourselves. Regardless of your reason, you won’t be sorry that you made the choice. Your friends, family, and most importantly your inner self will thank you.

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Changing Channels for Success: How To Ditch a Bad Habit

October 20, 2011 By Lena 3 Comments

making changes means ditching bad habitsWhen bad habits threaten your success, it’s time to change them. In an earlier article on perseverance and success, I mentioned that one of ways that the two meet is through knowing what your bad habits are, and choosing to change them.

What we might call “bad habits” are behaviors that we do as a result of choices we have made in the past, but no longer have a place in our present or future. They might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but over time have come to be more of a negative influence than a positive one. I don’t know about you, but I have a few bad habits that I know affect the level of success I have achieved. I also know that the only person who can do anything about them is me.

Fortunately, if you really want to make changes and let go of your bad habits, there are a few things you can do to make that process a little easier.

1. Make the commitment to change.

Change is hard. I don’t say that to discourage you, only to let you know that making changes is not the “walk in the park” that some people make it out to be. You deserve acknowledgement just for having the courage to change.

When you are making the commitment to change, you need to be sure that this is a change you really want to make. If you are doing this for any reason other than that you know deep in your heart the time for change is now, then chances are that ditching your bad habit will be harder than it has to be.

I know from when I tried to quit smoking, it took at least five tries before I was successful. When I tried to quit because other people wanted me to, or because it was a New Year’s resolution, it didn’t work. It wasn’t until I became committed to getting healthy and taking better care of myself just because I could, that I was successful at kicking that nasty habit.

2. Decide what the change will be.

When you are eliminating a habit, it’s often easier to swap a negative for a positive than it is to just stop. Quitting something without replacing it often leaves a hole where that habit used to reside, and you don’t always know what to do with yourself. That makes it much easier to slide back into the habit you are trying to eliminate.

Going back to my battle with smoking, the biggest thing for me in stopping was what to do with my hands. I was a chain smoker and had a cigarette in my hand from morning to night, even when it wasn’t lit. I tried everything from getting up to get a glass of water as a replacement to snapping an elastic band on my wrist as punishment when I wanted a smoke.

Neither of those worked for me, by the way. What finally worked was a plastic nicotine inhaler. I could hold it like a cigarette, and not even have to fill it. By the end of about three weeks of doing this I got so annoyed at having the thing in my hand I just put it away, and haven’t had a cigarette since.

The point I’m trying to make here is that you need to decide on an alternative action that works for you.

3. Start immediately.

Once you decide that you are going to eliminate a bad habit, don’t wait to get started. Waiting only gives you a chance to talk yourself out of making a change.

You can always work in small steps instead of going cold turkey if you think that will give you better results. The important thing is to get started, even if you’re only taking alternative action once a week in the beginning.

4. Tell people what you’re doing.

It’s important to have some sort of support system in place when you’re making any type of big changes. And lets’ be honest here — deciding to change your behaviour is one of the biggest changes you can make. You really shouldn’t try to do it alone.

If your family and friends will be supportive of your efforts, then by all means tell them what you’re doing. If they’re not, then find a coach or an outside support group that you with positive feedback and support. Sometimes just having someone to vent to when the going gets a little rocky is all you need to get you back on track again.

5. Keep a journal of the process.

Keeping a journal is a great help when you’re changing habits. It doesn’t matter what kind of habit you’re trying to change, writing down your thoughts about the process as well as your successful days and your not-so-successful attempts will teach you a lot about yourself.

For example, if you are trying to change an eating habit then you could keep a food journal where you write down everything you eat, how you feel when you’re eating it, what changes you made successfully, and what happened to make you want to slip back into your old habit.

Habits are essentially patterns of behaviour. Writing down as much information as you can about your habits allows you to see the patterns, and make the necessary changes. By the time you’re done, you will have a clear picture of where you started, where you are now, and how you got from one place to the other. This will make it a lot easier for you to change the next habit because you’ve already done it once!

Throughout your whole habit-changing process, keep one thing in mind: This will not happen overnight. Behavioural experts say that it takes a minimum of twenty-one continuous days to change a habit, so you will need to practice your powers of perseverance as well as your new behaviours.

Don’t give up. Making the decision to ditch your bad habits is step toward a more fulfilling, successful life. You deserve all the good that comes your way.

I wish you much success!

Photo Credit: Morgue File

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